


In Which The Reader And Joly Use Vicks Vaporub In An Innovative Manner

by RomanticismAnon



Series: Sluts in the Sewers: Thiccy Vicky and Other Miserable French People [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Crack, F/M, Sickfic, badlesmisimagines this is your fault, hello les mis fandom i'm so sorry les mis fandom, i had writers block while writing an actual fic and this is what came of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanticismAnon/pseuds/RomanticismAnon
Summary: You may have a cold, but you know what they say: cock is the best medicine.
Relationships: Joly (Les Misérables)/Reader
Series: Sluts in the Sewers: Thiccy Vicky and Other Miserable French People [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821544
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	In Which The Reader And Joly Use Vicks Vaporub In An Innovative Manner

**Author's Note:**

> Badlesmisimagines and I talked about the concept for this fic a while ago on Tumblr, but I never actually got around to writing it until recently. I am hoping that this will be the first in a series of bad Les Mis reader insert fics - I already have some ideas in mind for future bad fics. 
> 
> It should also be noted that I DO actually write serious content sometimes. Go figure. But it will likely be a hot second before I publish any of that because I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing that I take seriously, so it takes far longer for me to write that sort of content.

You could not have asked for a better boyfriend.

Now that you were cooped up in bed with a cold, it was Joly who tended to your every whim. He made you tea, prepared odd tinctures he claimed would alleviate your symptoms, and fluffed the pillows upon which you slept. However, you faced a dilemma: after spending so much time resting your flu away, you desperately needed a fluffing of your own. 

“Joly?” you asked one evening as he fed you homemade soup.

“Yes, dear? Is everything alright?”

“It has been so very long since we’ve been intimate. I miss you. I _crave_ you. My muscles may ache, but not nearly as much as my pussy aches in anticipation of the insertion of your speculum. Your chlamydia test cotton swab. Your caduceus, if you will.”

“But darling,” Joly frowned, “we’re out of lube. I used the last of it as flavoring in this soup.” 

You hadn’t even time to mourn the absence of lube before experiencing an epiphany as you spotted your evening’s saviour: a jar of Vicks Vaporub. 

“Joly, I know we’ve discussed our shared interest in temperature play, and my nose is still stuffed. We could kill two birds with one stone…”

With that, you unscrewed the lid of the Vicks Vaporub and smeared a copious glob of the ointment across your impossibly-perfect chest, which was already bare because, if you’re going to be miserable and sick, you may as well have your tiddies out. Joly made quick work of discarding his shirt and trousers, and, before you could even replace the lid of the Vicks, he had completely undressed. 

“Now, in order to take proper precautions, it’s probably best that you don’t face me as we make passionate and tender love,” Joly said. "I don't want you to breathe rhinovirus into my face."

You got on your hands and knees without hesitation. Truly, it was important to take the necessary precautions when having common cold sex. You felt the mattress sink as he crawled up onto the bed, and heard him unscrew the top of the Vicks Vaporub jar. After a few brief moments, during which (you assumed) he was slathering his fleshrod in the camphor/eucalyptus/menthol goo, he was positioned behind you.

“Are you ready?”

You nodded, and he slid into you.

The first thing you noticed was a feeling of being filled with something large and cold. The second thing you noticed was the sudden onset of intense burning. _Who could have guessed that something intended to cause a cool sensation could possibly be so hot?_ It took almost every ounce of self-restraint you had in you not to immediately climax, and the remaining, unused ounces of self-restraint were immediately put to use when Joly began thrusting. 

As expected, it was not long before you both were panting and shaking. Any modicum of control you had was no match for the inherent eroticism of Vicks Vaporub, and you soon submitted to your body’s need for release. Joly finished not long after you and, after he pulled out, you could feel the mixture of Vicks and love juices gush forth from your clunge. 

“Thank you Joly, that was wonderful.”

“It was no problem, really,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I enjoy experimenting with you like this. Perhaps, tomorrow night, we can even incorporate some _Mucinex_ into our lovemaking.”


End file.
